


Novelty

by plingo_kat



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Gen, Lava Lamps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 16:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7900441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plingo_kat/pseuds/plingo_kat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The last time I was on Jackson’s Whole,” Miles says, louder, “I saw a factory that produced lava lamps. Just… thousands of lava lamps. And I’m wondering why. It haunts me, Ivan.”</p><p>“You haunt me,” Ivan mutters, not quite inaudible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Novelty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [a_t_rain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_t_rain/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [a_t_rain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_t_rain/pseuds/a_t_rain) in the [Bujold_Ficathon_2016](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Bujold_Ficathon_2016) collection. 



> **Prompt:** Why, exactly, is there a lava-lamp factory on Jackson's Whole?

“You know,” Miles taps his fingers idly on the comconsole in front of him. “There’s something that’s been bothering me.”

“Yeah?” Ivan throws himself backward and drapes his arms loosely over the sides of his seat. “What?”

“The last time I was on Jackson’s Whole—“ Miles begins.

“Oh no,” Ivan says. “It never turns out well when you start talking about Jackson’s Whole—“

“The last time I was on Jackson’s Whole,” Miles says, louder, “I saw a factory that produced lava lamps. Just… thousands of lava lamps. And I’m wondering why. It haunts me, Ivan.”

“You haunt me,” Ivan mutters, not quite inaudible.

“I’ve finally decided to do something about it,” Miles says, doggedly ignoring Ivan. “And you’re going to help me.”

“Great,” Ivan mutters, actually inaudible this time.

“What?”

“I said, wonderful. What mad, possibly treasonous, almost definitely life-threatening activity are you going to blackmail me into this time?”

“Nothing life-threatening, mad, _or_ treasonous,” Miles reassures him. “We’re just going to search through some ImpSec files. We must have records somewhere of all the goods coming out of Jackson’s Whole. I only need you for an extra pair of eyes.”

“All right,” Ivan says, dubious. “But you’re going to make it worth my while.”

“Yes, fine.” Miles huffs. “Come over for dinner. Ma Kosti is making some sort of duck that has to be cooked for hours. The house already smells like a feast, it’s practically inhumane that she won’t allow anyone to sample the goods before seven.”

“Deal,” Ivan says instantly. He pauses. “Do you know if she…”

“Full dessert course, I promise,” Miles sighs.

“All right, all right.” Ivan slouches his way into a vaguely upright position. “I’m ready to look at your industry reports or whatever.”

Miles sends over the files – of course he’s already collected them, the overachieving little git – and Ivan opens the first report with glum resignation.

“I’ve given you a third of them,” Miles says. “Just skim them and let me know if you see anything about lava lamps.”

“Sure,” Ivan says. He reminds himself that in several hours he’ll be eating the most delicious duck he’s never experienced.

The things he does for family.

 

Miles is still going on about it in the midst of Ma Kosti’s heavenly dinner; Ivan legitimately isn’t paying attention, because this is the actual best thing he’s ever put in his mouth.

“What?” he says belatedly, once he realizes Miles has been glaring at him for the past minute or so.

“I _said_ ,” Miles says, a piece of duck speared on his fork, “that I can’t believe Baron Bharaputra uses _lava lamps_ to smuggle _bioweapons_.”

“Are you going to eat that?” Ivan says.

“I mean,” Miles continues, “that’s just – I mean, it’s genius, but—“

“Seriously,” Ivan says. “Eat your duck.”

“I can’t believe he’s desecrating lava lamps like that,” Miles finishes morosely. “I loved lava lamps.”

“Yet another symptom of your absolute madness,” Ivan says. “Pass me the creamed potatoes.”

Miles hands them over wordlessly.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in about 20 minutes. I just. I saw the prompt and I _had_ to. The timeline is probably fudged, I have no idea when it was mentioned that there were lava lamps on Jackson's Whole.
> 
>  
> 
> plingokat @ twitter


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